Parents are often are concerned about their children. Parents want to give a good life to their children. They want their children to study well, be well-mannered and maintain discipline at home and outside. They expect their children to be self-motivated and be independent learners. There are some common mistakes parents make raising their children. They get frustrated if their kids don’t get ready to school on time, if they don’t do their homework. They nag and make some mistakes. We will discuss some common parenting mistakes which every Indian parent makes, and try not to make them.
There are some common parenting mistakes which most Indian parents make. Let us try to understand them and see how we can avoid them.
1. Child is Secretive
If the child is secretive and distancing himself from you, it does not necessarily mean that there is something fishy, or they are hiding things. Kids Are very sensitive, and if they feel that they are not being heard and don’t get enough attention, then they start withdrawing themselves. Kids are bound to make mistakes and take wring and silly decisions. They don’t have the maturity to take wise decisions. Don’t get irritated with them. If you shout and get irritated with them they will become secretive.
2. Over Protective Parents
If your child is very shy and indecisive it could be because you are being protective and taking decisions on his behalf. Let them learn to take their own decisions. Never mind if they are wring decisions. It is fine to take decisions on behalf of your kid for some time till a certain age. Don’t have to guide in every situation. Don’t try to hold them even before they fall. They should learn to take their own decisions and handle situations better.
3. Not giving your child a right to choose.
If your child is taking away toys from others hands and not happy with her/his own toys, then it means you are giving what you like and not what the child likes. Allow your child to choose what he/she likes. Otherwise they will develop a tendency to snatch from others.
4. Comparison with others
If the child shows jealousy or envy towards others, then it means that you are comparing your child with others. Please remember that no two individuals are the same. Understand your child and her/his strengths and channelize those strengths. Don’t impose your thoughts in them. Let them live their own life. Each child is unique in their own way. You have to make an effort to understand your child.
5. Don’t be Harsh and Rude
Most of us take our children for granted. We tend to show our mood swings on our children. We sometimes become harsh and rude towards them. We even beat them when we are angry. Please remember that your child is observing you and he/she will learn the same from you. So, next time when your child beats another child or bully’s it means that they have been given a rude treatment by you. Try to be their inspiration and their role model.
6. Lack of Attention
If you feel your child being irritable and bad-tempered, it could be because they are not getting enough attention from you. They don’t know how to get the attention from you, hence they show their irritation, bad-temper and draw your attention. Both of you could be working parents, and really don’t have time because of your busy and hectic schedules. This could be another reason why they are acting weird. Make sure, you spend time with them and ask them how the day was.
7. Harsh on Mistakes
If you see your child lying to you very often, it could be because you were very harsh on their previous mistake. They are scared to admit the mistake they have made now, so they escape by lying. Remember they are kids, they will make mistakes. It’s just fine and a part of being a child. They are common childhood mistakes. Tell them with love. Don’t use harsh words that will hurt them. Avoid harsh and rude punishments for small mistakes. Reason with them and explain why it is wrong.
8. Disrespect Towards Others
If your child does not care for others feelings and shows dis-respect, then it could be because you are no acknowledging her/his feelings. Don’t shut them u. That is the biggest mistake. Let them emote and speak up. Respect them and they will surely respect you back. Don’t get judgmental about every little thing they do.
9. Don’t ruin your Child’s Self-esteem
If your child is no able to speak or stand up for her/him self in difficult situations, then it could be because you have shattered her/his self-esteem before others. They will get a feeling that they are really useless. Encourage hem and boost their self-confidence. Don’t pin them down before others. Talk to them in person. Don’t pin them down even before their siblings.
10. Suppressing your Child’s Thoughts
Most of the time we as parents feel that we know what is best for the child and we suppress the wishes of the child. They might listen now, but will not be successful in future. Let them chase their dreams and pursue what they want. They will be happy doing what they like. If you impose your thoughts they may do it, but they will not be happy.
What are your Worst Parenting Mistakes?
Parenting is a full time job. Whether you have a new born baby, or toddlers or young kids at home parenting is always challenging. Parents make mistakes in upbringing of their children, though unintentional. They will have an impact on the growth of the child. It is important to understand and rectify these mistakes as soon as possible.
You might have been very bossy: Be a friendly parent. You have given birth to your child does not mean you will have complete control on them. They are individuals and have a right to live life the way they like.
Bad model: You are the role model of your child, if you use abusive language then you child will learn the same. They will learn and copy from you. Be more responsible in your behavior.
Don’t over react: Try and be balanced and composed. Don’t over react to situations. This will have adverse effect on your child.
Ignore children: Some parents feel that children should grow up with other children only. Pay has to be with fellow children. Spare some time and play with your child. You are gifting them a life time beautiful memory and this will strengthen your bond too.
Dear parents, please avoid making these common mistakes and enjoy your child growth as good children. Happy Parenting!!